Kryptonite
by accidentallybroken
Summary: What if Park left prom, before he got the note from Eleanor?


Park pulled the jacket on, straightening it. He looked in the mirror. His green eyes looked dull, surrounded by his smudged eyeliner. He sighed, and went to the door of his room. He leaned his forehead into the door.

 _He didn't want to do this._ He wanted to hide under his covers, warm and alone, and never come out. He didn't want to remember prom with the girl he didn't care about, the girl with no connection. She was nice enough, but lacking spirit. He felt like a robot, about to go with his robot date to a night that was supposed to be special. He sighed again.

 _He wanted Eleanor._ He knew it was true. He missed her like he'd miss the floor if it disappeared from under his feet. He felt like he was falling, falling away from the sun. Eleanor was the sun and the moon for him. Eleanor was his kryptonite.

He missed her red hair, her snarky comments, her soft freckled skin, her laugh, _everything._ He missed Eleanor. He missed her. _He missed her._

But Eleanor was gone. She was gone, and he would probably never see her again. He sighed once again. He shouldn't think about that, about her. It was painful, and she was gone. But not thinking about her was impossible. She had such a _presence_ , and she was forever in the back (or the front) of his mind. He banged his head lightly into the door, as if trying to knock her out of his head.

He heard the doorbell ring, and he straightened up. He took a deep breath, and opened the door, and walked out. He walked into the living room. His mother was sitting on the couch next to his dad, talking pleasantly to Cat, who was standing in a blue dress by the door. Her dyed black hair was put up in a sleek updo. Park tried to smile at her. His dad looked up at him.

"Park! Just in time. Are you ready to take this gorgeous girl to prom?" Park tried to laugh. His dad's eyes narrowed as he noticed that something was off. At that moment, his mother stood up.

"My handsome boy. You look so good." She dusted off his jacket, her eyes shining with pride. Park smiled at her. He loved her, even if she was blind to how miserable he was. Park looked at his date. She grinned at him.

"Ready to go?" Park walked over to her.

"Yeah, let's go. " Park turned around as he heard a door open and close. Josh was standing in the hallway, peering out. Park's mom saw him too.

"Josh, say goodbye to your brother." Josh rolled his eyes, but Park saw that he was slightly jealous.

"Goodbye to your brother." Mindy came up behind him and smacked the back of his head.

"No smart mouth!"

"Fine. Bye, Park." Josh turned around and walked back into his room. Park turned back to Cat, and held the door open for her. She smiled, and walked carefully in her high heels. He opened the door of the car for her, and went around to the driver's side. He slid into the seat, adjusting the mirror slightly. All the way to the dance, they talked.

She was smart and all, but she wasn't interesting. Park wanted desperately to love her, to feel a spark, but where there used to be a connection, a place in his heart that was overflowing, all he felt was emptiness. He wanted to turn the car around, and tell the girl, _"I'm sorry, but there's been a mistake. I must have the wrong girl."_

But of course, he didn't. All he did was try and be engaging, and try not to wish for what he couldn't have. He couldn't get anywhere by missing her.

When they got to the dance, Park went and opened the door for Cat, like a good gentleman. He walked in with her on his arm, trying not to show the misery, the awful fog in his head, on his face.

He tried to ignore, when he saw the theme (Under the Sea), how beautiful Eleanor would look with the blues and greens around her. He tried to ignore that the hand he was holding didn't have little boy nails, or freckles. He tried to smile in the photos. He tried to act as if this was what he wanted.

They went on the dance floor, Park's arms around her. They danced to a lot of songs Park hadn't heard of, and didn't care. He didn't care. He just wanted to go home and put some headphones on and listen to music. (Maybe the Misfits, plenty of screaming. But Eleanor didn't like them. God, it was still all about Eleanor.) He tried to ignore all that, and have fun. He had to move forward.

He watched as Tina and Steve got crowned prom king and queen. He even clapped along with everyone else. But when the next song came on, it was the last straw.

He heard the opening notes of, _All You Need is Love._ And of course, in the end, it all came back to Eleanor. The Beatles tape she gave him, love, ELEANOR. He couldn't stop thinking about her, as long as his heart was beating. His eyes filled slightly with tears. God. Jesus. What was wrong with him?

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, are you okay?" He looked up. Cat's eyes were full of concern. Then she kissed him slowly, and Park kissed her back, and-

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But this isn't right. I can't be here."

"What? Park, wait!" But Park was already gone, pushing past people out the door. He thought of something, and turned around.

"Steve! Hey, Steve!" Steve looked up in surprise.

"Yo, Park, what's up?"

"Look, I need you to do me a favor. Can you please give Cat, the girl in blue over there, a ride home? Something's come up." Steve was silent for a long moment. Then he sighed.

"Alright, man. You owe me one."

Park nodded gratefully, and continued his way out the door. Eleanor. He had to see Eleanor. Maybe it was stupid, maybe it would go terribly wrong, but it didn't stop him from going out to the car, and counting the money in his wallet. Yes, it looked like he had enough to get to Michigan. He got in the car, his mind still above.

He felt drunk. Or high. But he knew that the only thing that was altering his brain was Eleanor. God, she was like a drug. And he was hopelessly addicted.

He drove through the night. He still remembered the route. When it became a struggle to keep his eyelids open, he pulled off an exit and into an abandoned parking lot. He didn't even care if it was safe.

The next morning, he found a gas station and bought a coke and some regional cake thing. It was disgusting, but it would keep him awake. He kept driving.

The whole drive, his mind was on Eleanor, but he didn't get anything done. He still couldn't determine whether this was a good idea, or think about what it would be like when he finally saw her, or even what people back home would think. He just knew he needed to see her, that she was filling his mind, and for all he knew, probably spilling out of his ears, and slipping down into his heart. She was filling him, and he was drowning.

He kept driving, and pulled over about noon to use the bathroom. When he came out, he saw a girl with red hair kissing a blonde guy. His heart skipped a beat, but when she turned around, he could see there was barely a resemblance. Her hair was clearly dyed, her eyes were blue, and everything about her was put together. He preferred Eleanor, who was always falling apart, but always solid and real. She looked at him strangely. He addressed her boyfriend.

"Don't let her go. When you have something good, don't let her go." The man looked at him strangely.

"Um, okay." He grabbed his girlfriend's hand, and they walked outside. Park stood there for a minute, then went out to his car.

He continued driving. After an hour, he started to doubt himself. What if she didn't want to see him? She probably didn't. She hadn't called, written back to him, she'd had ample time to find someone else. What if he was just intruding? If he had been a nice person, he probably would have turned around then. He shouldn't go without saying he would. He could make it really awkward for her.

But his desire, his drive, to see her, was too strong. And anyway, he was almost there. He couldn't stop now.

He finally got there. He parked the car. It was late in the afternoon, the sky a fading orange. He could see lights on, glowing through the curtains. He wondered for a second if it was the right house. But instinctively, he knew it was. He wasn't going to forget the house his universe had disappeared into. He took a deep breath. He looked down at himself.

He still had the same eye makeup and gel in his hair that he had two days ago. His tuxedo was fairly wrinkled. He smoothed it out as well as he could, and ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn't going to look any better. He was tired, he was ragged, he was still short and ugly. But Eleanor, she said she liked the way he looked. Would she still?

He walked up to the house and rang the doorbell before he lost his nerves. (He could just as easily hide in a bush for the next three years.) He waited a few seconds, then heard footsteps. The door opened, and there stood Eleanor.

Her hair was still just as wild. Her clothes fit a bit better, but she was still wearing a checkered shirt and a tie around her wrist. Park stood there, soaking in the sight of her. Her black eyes widened at the sight of him.

"Park? What..."

"Eleanor." His voice came out as a ragged gasp. "I had to come. I had to see you." Her eyes were unreadable, her full curved lips slightly open.

"Is this about the postcard?" Park was confused.

"What postcard?"

"The one I sent... Oh Jesus Christ. You didn't get it, did you? You came here on your own." Her black eyes were filling with tears.

"I- Is it okay that I came? I just... God. I sound so stupid. I bet you already have a boyfriend. I'm so so sorry. Eleanor. I just wanted you to know I still- I can't stop thinking about you. You're probably about to break my heart. But I had to know. I had to remember that you're real. Sometimes I feel like you're a fantasy."

"Park-"

"Eleanor, I still love you."

"Park. I don't have a boyfriend. I... think I love you too." Her eyes were downcast. Park felt like he could fly. She loved him. She loved him. "But, why would you come? I didn't send anything for months. I was never nice."

"Eleanor." He took her hands. " You're right. You're never nice. But you are beautiful and amazing and funny and smart and perfect and I miss you so much. I don't know how to say it. I feel like we're in a cheesy romantic movie, and I know you hate those. But-" He was cut off by Eleanor's lips on his.

He kissed her back, slowly at first, and then faster. This was real. This was happening. This wasn't a dream. Eleanor was here. Eleanor loved him. He was kissing Eleanor. This was right. She pulled back.

"I'm sorry about never writing to you. You're probably angry." Park looked at her.

"I am. But my anger is nothing compared to getting my missing piece back. I never want to leave you." Eleanor tried to roll her eyes.

"You're right, this is turning into a cheesy romantic movie." She tried to sound mad, but the break in her voice betrayed her.

A woman walked up behind Eleanor. She saw who it was, standing talking to her niece, and her eyes widened. She walked back into the house. Eleanor looked back after her aunt. Eleanor stood silently for a moment.

Then she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"I know." They stood quietly for another minute. "What was in the postcard, anyway?" Eleanor's eyes widened.

"Give me one second." She walked into the house, leaving Park on the steps. She came back a minute later, holding a comic book.

It was the last edition of Watchman. Eleanor sat down on the steps. Park sat down next to her. Slowly, they flipped through the pages, silently reading. It got darker and darker, and Park was squinting by the time they reached the last page.

"Nothing ever ends."

"What?"

"That's what was on the postcard."


End file.
